The Gay Best Friend

No surprise here, but I am gay. I’ve been open about this ever since I kissed my first boyfriend. Being gay has been, for me, at times an enormous struggle. The picture perfect that I always envisioned for myself has changed during the years.

Although we now live in an era were homosexuality (mostly) gets accepted we are not still there. The media loves to portray us as stereotypes. There are a lot of TV shows where the leading lady has a flamboyant gay best friend. They always dress well, they always have the weirdest sexual encounters and they are mostly bitchy.

Of course those types aren’t only seen on TV shows, but also in real life. There are gays who compare themselves as ‘a handbag’. I don’t mind if you describe yourself as one, but don’t think that all of us feel the same way. We are no fashion item. We are not something you can buy at the nearest supermarket. We are not some trend that is now hip and happening. We are not like a Chihuahua that you can dress up and play with when you feel like it.

It bothers me that people think that the stereotype the media is portraying is who most of us are. We don’t do girly things all the time. I might be gay but I am a vivid gamer. I love my PS3 just as much as I love my laptop. We don’t go to work on our unicorns and not all of us know every word to every Cher song.

Everybody who thinks that all the gays have an awesome fashion style is also dead wrong. Not all of us know the latest fashion trends. We don’t all give advice to our girlfriends on how to dress. Some gay guys that I spot walking around in the city look like a hot mess. They are the ones who could really use the advice of their girlfriends.

When it comes to the gay stereotype it seems that ‘the gay lifestyle’ and being promiscuous also goes hand-in-hand. Not all of us are sluts. Of course there are indeed some of us who are like walking STD’s but there are also enough slutty girls who are like that. Don’t judge a book by its title. I’m gay but I don’t spend my free time plotting with whom I want to sleep with.

Being a young gay man means that you also get to have a lot of female friends. Which is of course a good thing. The weird thing though is that they quickly call you their ‘gay best friend’ that is of course impossible because you can’t be everybody’s (gay) best friend.

We are human just like everybody else. But no one gets picked on for being straight; a lot of us did get picked on for being ‘different’. Believe me when I say that most of us been through hell to get to the point where we can say “I’m proud to be gay.”

Our sexuality should not be the reason for starting a friendship. So let’s start a revolution and ditch the term ‘Gay Best Friend’. Just call us your (best) friend, your friend who happens to like guys just like yourself.


Photo: Martika de Sanders
Styling: Jantine de Vroome
MUA: Rosa Dijkstra

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